Downsizing Update: Almost 5 Years Later

In November of 2020, we published a post called “What’s It Like To Downsize” after living in our smaller home for 6 months. We covered a range of experiences – like the good things about moving to a smaller home (owning less stuff! saving money!) and some of its challenges, especially in the initial stages of downsizing (paring down! figuring out storage!). We still agree with everything in that post, but it had only been six months… and since it has now been over 4.5 years (!!!), we feel like we have a few more to add about the long-haul downsizing experience. Let’s get into it.

I won’t recap our entire decision to downsize (you can see the full explanation here) but the highlights are:

• We used to live in a 3,150 sq. ft. home in suburban Richmond, Virginia
• Now we live in a 1,400 sq. ft. home a few blocks from the Gulf of Mexico
• We have 6 rooms (including just 1 bathroom)
• Our current house’s lot is 1/10th the size of our last house’s lot
• We don’t have a garage, attic, or basement (but we do have a pool/hot tub/firepit)
• We wanted a house that’s “walkable” & can now walk to shops/restaurants/the beach
• Our family downsizing motto has been to “live with less & be outside more” (alternative motto: “spend less time cleaning & more time in the pool”)

After 4.5 years, we can still confidently say that downsizing was a great decision for us. We devote a lot less time, money, and energy into homeownership (maintenance, renovation, furnishing, cleaning) than ever before – which has freed us up to focus on family, hobbies, nature, and a better work-life balance. Financially it has also been beneficial (we made a whole chart about saving $$$, because although our house is in a warmer location, it’s a lot easier to heat & cool). You can see that breakdown in our original downsizing recap.

We’ve also had our current home longer than our first house, our second house, our beach house, or our duplex at this point (time is wild!). So our downsized lifestyle is hardly a “blip” and we certainly would have changed things by now if it wasn’t a good fit.

Forgetting You Downsized

Most days it’s easy to forget that we ever lived with (or believed we needed) more space. We’ve lived in this house long enough to fully adjust (both mentally and logistically) to having 1400 square feet. What once felt like an “unconventional” or “different” lifestyle change feels normal and unremarkable. So much so that it’s a little difficult to write this post. We’ve become a little blind to what’s interesting or unique about it!

So why do we draw attention to the “forgettableness” of downsizing? Well, for a couple of reasons.

1. Transitions Are Temporary

First, we hope this reassures anyone facing a similar transition, whether by choice or not. Downsizing can feel challenging at times, but the challenges don’t last forever. Because just like any transition in life – going to college, starting a job, having a baby – the adjustment period is often the hardest part. So let us be an example that, at some point, you’ll be on the other side. You will adjust.

That’s not to say the adjustment is always fast or easy. And different parts may be difficult for different people. We enjoyed paring down our belongings, so that part wasn’t too rough for us (dare I say, exciting?). But after moving into our smaller home, it took us 2-3 years to:

• figure out furniture arrangements in a few trickier spaces
• fully implement sufficient storage solutions (like adding closets)

So there was an initial “sticking point” in finding the best way to store certain things (or a literal waiting period while we built the storage cabinets or closets that we needed). But now that we’ve figured those things out, everything has a place to live, and it’s a lot more autopilot around here. In fact, if pressed to recall what we struggled with storing or what took the longest to figure out, it might take a 10-minute brainstorming session to actually remember.

2. It Was The Right Move For Us

Secondly (and more personally), the “forgettableness” of our decision tells us we did the right thing. Downsizing isn’t for everyone, so the fact that it has become so normalized for our family is immensely reassuring. We still have people over (our pool & proximity to the beach is a real draw). We spend a lot more time outside as a family. We clean the house together every Sunday in about 30 minutes (all 4 of us have our fav jobs). Six rooms total (and only one bathroom) really have a plethora of upsides.

That’s not to say we don’t sometimes feel the limitations of a smaller home (here is where I would argue that limitations aren’t always bad – like do we want a house with enough space to store literally *anything* we have ever wanted?).

To pick an example of a storage limitation, a few years ago Sherry wanted a few of those 6′ skeletons to hang from our second floor deck each Halloween. She proposed storing them in the crawl space (which could have worked – although skeletons under the house might be a little creepy if someone ever came upon them during an inspection or something). After some thought, Sherry ended up getting four smaller skeletons that fold at the waist and can easily be stored in a basket inside. The kids get a kick out of repositioning them every October (rain chain Miley-Cyrus-In-Wreckingball scenes have been created) so there is no shortage of joy, and it hasn’t ever really felt like a “sacrifice.” You adjust. You pivot. All is ok.

Actually, there’s a peace that comes with a resolute “nope, it won’t fit in our house” that helps us walk away from lots of things without much internal debate (and with money remaining in our pocket). Also, lots of people live without 6-foot skeletons… which is kinda the point. The longer we live here, the less frequently we let our space limitations distract from the positives of downsizing. It’s just a fact of life that we’re happy to live with in exchange for the other things we’ve gained.

Being Reminded You Downsized

Like I said before, this next section sounds like a direct contradiction to everything I just said. How can it be easy to forget we downsized… but also be regularly reminded of that fact? This interesting dichotomy just seems to be a part of downsizing, so I thought I’d attempt to put it into words for anyone who’s contemplating a downsizing adventure.

Since the day-to-day of living in a smaller home over the last 4.5 years has become so normalized to us, there are funny little moments when we’re reminded that our decision isn’t everyone’s norm. One of those funny reminders might be when another person asks us about downsizing and says they could never live without their guest room & their double garage (we usually chat about how downsizing definitely isn’t for everyone – and each person has different things they couldn’t live without).

Sometimes it’s just this moment of being in a larger home while visiting a friend and noticing they have 12 closets or a giant laundry room. It’s not a bad sensation – it’s just a noticeable moment of “oh yeah, some people have all this room! I wonder if they think our house is weird, even though we’re so used to it.”

To take this one step further, comparison is a near-universal truth of homeownership, whether you’re comparing your home to a house across the street or a home that’s featured on the internet or in a magazine. This isn’t specific to downsizing AT ALL. I’m sure many of you in larger homes have envied someone’s even more spacious house at some point. And you may even have felt a pang of yearning for a smaller and more simple home, but don’t actually want to live in one. It can just be a little momentary feeling.

My main point here is that lots of little desires or yearnings can exist at once in your mind, and those momentary pangs don’t mean you hate what you already have or must change things. Insert that quote about the grass always being greener. So if you’re thinking about downsizing, it would be smart to take stock of how these comparisons really make you feel over a longer period of time (fleeting desires aside).

If you’re someone who can say “that’s so cool for them, but I don’t think I’d want to clean those four extra rooms” – you might really be ready (and excited!) to downsize. But if seeing those grander homes stirs up some kind of burning desire (versus being a passing moment of “woah, they have a theater room!”), maybe take some time to dive deeper and ponder if downsizing actually feels right for you.

When we walk into giant open houses or showhomes, we are very happy to soak up all the inspiration & appreciate every detail and then happily return to our cozy little house. Touring these “bigger and better houses” is fun for us, and it’s also an exercise that reaffirms our choice every time.

Again, for us, living with less = needing less money = working/cleaning/maintaining/organizing less = more time for family/friends/hobbies/nature. There is a big “why” behind our choice. So seeing someone’s bigger/nicer house often becomes a good moment to savor the clarity we have around our goals. Is it beautiful? Yes. Is it worth spending more time maintaining it and working longer hours to afford it? Not for us.

I’m especially grateful for that clarity given the wide variety of homes around us. One unique thing about living here is the wide range of house sizes (and, shall we say, fancy-factor?). The homes in all of our previous neighborhoods were relatively the same. Some might have a newer kitchen or bathroom, a finished attic, or an addition on the back, but the differences usually weren’t more than a renovation away from the house next door.

In our current area, however, the range is truly WILD. You can find lavish & large waterfront homes worth eight figures just a short walk away. Every day we see everything from little cottages like ours to towering multi-family vacation homes. Thankfully that wide range doesn’t make us second-guess anything about our decision to downsize. But I imagine it would be harder to handle if we felt like our house really was too small and we were squeezed in there like sardines while those around us had all that room and then some.

All this to say, I would not choose a neighborhood like ours if you’re prone to house-size envy or if you worry you’ll second-guess your decision to downsize. Sherry and I actually enjoy that our house “stands out” in our neighborhood as being one of just around two dozen “original cottages” that were built earlier on when our streets were sleepy and slow (it’s a great conversation starter!). But I think a younger me who was less sure in my choices might’ve preferred to blend in and keep up with the Joneses a little more. I think that would’ve made this process more difficult. So… know thyself.

Would We Still Choose Downsizing?

If it isn’t already glaringly obvious, YES!

In the almost half a decade since making this choice, we’ve only grown more steadfast in our decision. We were so focused on the logistical and financial aspects of downsizing in our earlier downsizing recap, I don’t think we had really digested these mental aspects enough to explain them. We were also only 6 months in, and very much loving our new home, new location, and new lifestyle – but it would not have been easy to see it from as wide of a lens as we can today.

And now, 4.5 years after downsizing, any sort of honeymoon period that may have occurred is over and we’re still very happily married to it. We’re amazed by how normalized it has become to us, and how easy it is to brush off any “temptations” around us. Sherry says that like getting tattoos, paring down and simplifying is addicting. Except I guess when it comes to the occasional jonesing for large skeletons. But even that can turn out ok…

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